


I’ll hold onto my heart for you

by moneden



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Emotional, Fluff, M/M, baeksoo™, word vomit, yup over 1k of emotional fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-12
Updated: 2017-09-12
Packaged: 2018-12-29 02:29:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,236
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12072696
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moneden/pseuds/moneden
Summary: And if love was a net force of all the chemical reactions Baekhyun evokes within him, it'd be the strongest drug Kyungsoo has ever tasted.





	I’ll hold onto my heart for you

**Author's Note:**

> Provided to you by the Iconic BaekSoo™ moment at party people. Yes, I know probably everyone already wrote about it. But if you're up for over 1k of emotional fluff and bad metaphors, be my guest. Musical inspiration ( + Title ) and suggested BGM : Kim Sunggyu's "Reply". This is UnBeta-ed BTW.

Kyungsoo doesn’t think he can ever love himself as much as Baekhyun loves him. It’s just as if it didn’t lie within his capacity, as if there was a force halting him from viewing him in the light the older male basks him in. Sometimes he wishes he could see himself through these umber orbs, see the reflection of what the taller male admires. It makes him bashful, helpless, even. Although he has a never-ending plethora of eyes regarding him, although he has heard thousands of voices screaming his name, went almost blind from the flashes of vitreous gazes, received praises, awards, Kyungsoo still finds himself unable to comprehend exactly why Baekhyun sees him as the best thing to have happened to the world ever since sliced bread ( which, in his humble opinion, isn’t that much of a breaking invention ). He doesn’t understand and doesn’t ask why, he doesn’t even have time to do so, not when Baekhyun ceaselessly reminds him of his self-worth, splashes him in the wave of heat, injects butterflies into the pit of his stomach, proliferates ebullience so particular across his heart, sensation so breath taking he can only remain in the moment where time doesn’t exist, where there’s only Baekhyun’s voice washing over him in its astonishing timbre, subtly raspy on the corners but ever so soothing in its pulchritude.

 

He thinks it’s rather ironic, how an angel himself paints him in such an ethereal picture. And yes, Baekhyun is an annoying, overly hyped and mouthy, little piece of shit and the main source of his headaches but he’s also Kyungsoo’s little angel. He’s the sunshine which rays dart into the depths of his heart, provides with the dim light that only grows stronger, wider and it burns, Kyungsoo’s heart seethes with love, it’s set ablaze in the most pleasant way he’s ever experienced and he lets the light burn Baekhyun’s name across his existence, eternally marking him as the light of his life. As much as he hates to admit it – mostly because of the smugness older’s countenance obtains, wiggling eyebrows and grinning too cockily for Kyungsoo’s liking – he likes it. No, he loves it. Loves the curl of Baekhyun’s lips, the glint gambolling in his eyes, the sound of his laughter so loud it’s far from recherché and rings in his ears almost too painfully. Kyungsoo loves the pair of arms that snake their way around his waist, the warmth of Baekhyun’s body pressed against his side, the weight of his head on his shoulder, the subtle brush of the roseate lips across his neck, a whisper so quiet and low of the sweetest confessions.

 

And if love was a net force of all the chemical reactions Baekhyun evokes within him, it'd be the strongest drug Kyungsoo has ever tasted, it would be the most intoxicating substance to ever tingle the tastebuds on his tongue and it would blend with the saccharine flavour Baekhyun’s wet cavern carries. Kyungsoo would plunge gladly into this infinite sea, drown in the emotions and suffocate himself with invisible fingers of affection and warmth wrapping themselves around his neck, squeezing, cutting off air to replace the oxygen with something he needs to live much more ㅡ with Baekhyun and all the little things that constitute the beauty of their relationship, for their bond is the haven, anchoring his existence in the safety of Baekhyun’s embrace.

 

“I hate you so much” He whispers when Baekhyun yet once again invades his personal space, nimble fingers gracefully waltzing up his side, warm breath fanning the skin of his neck, butterfly kisses under his jaw providing him with a tickling sensation that pulls at his heartstrings just right. It’s almost too domestic, too warm, too safe and too risky for the circumstances, for the eyes of people focused on them, analysing and reporting every smallest movement. The profundity of his voice muffles itself subtly against the glass as the softness of his gaze sharpens momentarily, side eyeing the older male. But Baekhyun doesn’t mind, doesn’t care about the moment and simply presses himself further into the inviting heat of Kyungsoo’s body, his eyelids flutter and Kyungsoo wishes to– He curses himself for wanting to kiss him so bad. He curses himself for wanting to claim the pouty lips, feel their succulence against his own, experience the sweetness veiled by the alcohol yet infinitely so vivid and most important for him, experience the ephemeral dose of ecstasy he craves like an addict, like a fool he is for Byun Baekhyun. A fool who wraps his arm protectively around taller’s waist, holds his warm body just a little bit closer, for a little bit longer than he should.

 

Baekhyun releases a petite ripple of a chuckle against his neck and Kyungsoo’s heart skips a beat. It’s a light hearted sound, it lacks subtlety yet it’s so beautifully delicate he fleetingly forgets how to breathe. “It’s your punishment for being so harsh on yourself” A low mumble vibrates against his skin and it’s his turn to chuckle, snort under his breath and shake his head. Of course.

 

( He leaves off the fact that he indeed doesn’t mind the proximity of their bodies, perhaps not so shamelessly in the public but it’s a guilty pleasure he indulges himself in ever so gladly, the feeling he feeds himself off and erases solitude with. )

 

( Baekhyun makes him forget what solitude is. )

 

Of course Baekhyun doesn’t let him put himself down, deprive himself of all the qualities and talents the older male sees in him. Baekhyun is his own advocate, chiming in whenever Kyungsoo says too little, making sure he’s seen in the better light, making sure he is _visible_. And he really thinks that Baekhyun’s power is accurate in so many ways. Kyungsoo sometimes wishes he had the ability to reciprocate what he’s given. He speaks in quiet actions rather than words, in the delicacy within which he holds Baekhyun, in the sarcastic remarks, in the soft smiles, in stolen kisses and looks. And he’s lucky that Baekhyun understands, that he appreciates every little thing, that he completes him in the best way possible, knows what he means even with the wordless sentences exchanged in their gazes.

 

Kyungsoo really does hate Baekhyun. Hates how comfortable he is with him, how much he yearns for the older and how utterly in love he is with him.

 

He hates how disappointment prompts itself in his heart when Baekhyun pulls away from the sidehug, how he leaves him to beam at another familiar face. His warmth lingers on Kyungsoo’s body and transfers itself into his orbs, dark irises illuminated by scintillas that make Baekhyun coruscate within the crowd as Kyungsoo follows him motionlessly until the older disappears from his sight and he can only hear the distinguishable laughter reverberating the grand space.

 

Kyungsoo takes another sip of his drink and concludes that even the sweetness of the mixed alcohol doesn’t compare to Baekhyun’s lips.

 

( And he keeps tasting them when they are back home, whispering incoherently in between the kisses, a dalliance of stolen breaths and the heartbeats of velocity too grand. Baekhyun’s lithe fingers weave themselves in his shirt, he holds onto Kyungsoo as if his life depended on it, blown pupils regard him and Kyungsoo’s caught off guard when he hears a soft chuckle matched with a grin of pure mischief.

 

“I love you too.” )


End file.
